February 2005 Archives
I'm just amazed at how social Finnegan has become. He just loves to interact with me and Doug and other people. A week ago I took him to visit a friend of mine and he just cooed and babbled to her for minutes and minutes. He is so responsive that it's such a joy to be around him.
On the other side of the coin, when he's unhappy he lets you know. I've finally figured out his messy diaper cry and the sooner I recognize it the happier we both are. It takes a while to figure out the different cries. He has a hungry giggle, a poopy diaper whimper and a flat out scream at the top your lungs I'm-tired-I'm-hungry-I'm-wet-and-you-better-fix-it-fast- cry. That's the one that is hard to console because he's so unhappy, but I'm getting quicker at correcting all of the problems and getting him back to a happy state.
Last night I woke up at 3:30 to change and feed him and he just was so happy that he just wanted to play. I felt bad because I was so tired that it was hard for me to talk and interact with him. But, I played with him for a little bit to hear his happy giggle and to see his bright wide eyes looking back at me and my heart just melted because he was so cute.
As I scooped him up he giggled in my ear while I walked back to bed and Iwas so grateful to be awakened by a baby who was so happy to be with me.
When I was growing up my parents were apart more than they were together and I have been thinking of the those time a lot because now I have a child and I wonder how I am doing.
Being a parent is so more important to me than I thought it would be. It's a lot of work because Doug and I have to give Finnegan everything. Food, clothing, shelter and intellectual stimulation 24 hours a day. Sometimes it can be difficult when we are sick or really tired, but the joy of watching Finnegan discover his world more than makes up for the little inconveniences that we may endure along the way.
I have been watching Finnegan develop his motor and cognitive skills very closely for the past two weeks because I was afraid that he was a little slow at grasping things. But after a few days of passing a plastic ring to him, he grasped the concept and has moved on to examining each item he holds in his hands. He also puts everything in his mouth and the drool factor has resulted in an increase of clothing changes, all in the name of progress.
More than the mere practice of grabbing items, I think that my presence and vocal encouragement and reaffirming pats on the back have had more impact on his learning than just the repetition of the acts themselves. My friendly presence is a safety net for him assuring his safety and caregiving.
Every day I see examples of children who are confident because their parents provide them with a safe learning environment to grow and discover their world without the fear of failure and those children are happier and more adventurous than others. Of course, I have not conducted any scientific observations with control groups and experimental groups, but it is easy to see the difference when the children are interacting with their parents.
When I see mothers in the park pushing a child on a swing I notice two things. The mother who is pushing the child from the front is talking and making faces to the child in the swing. The mother who is pushing the child from behind is talking as well, but not as actively as the other. Now I notice this because I am a very social person and I believe that positive reinforcement is the best thing we can give our children and anyone else for that matter.
So, back to being a parent. Well, I hope that the best thing I can do for Finnegan as a parent is to be apparent--always in view. Hopefully, we will continue to provide him with a positive and safe environment for him to continue his quest for knowledge of his surroundings.
At about 1:30 pm I was taking some photos of Finnegan and he was unusually fussy. He kept crying, kicking his feet and was just unhappy.
I picked him up and tried to console him by playing with him and dancing to some Beatles music and he settled down for about an hour.
Then it happened, our first real meltdown. I had put him in his bouncer downstairs as I was preparing to take a shower and I heard the phone ring. I went and took the call while I could hear Finnegan starting to cry. A few minutes later I went down to him and he was really unhappy. He was crying some really big tears with a red face and wide open mouth while hands were flailing. I felt really bad and picked him up thinking that this would end quickly with a dry diaper. But I was wrong.
After 45 minutes of screaming on his part and 45 minutes of failed attempts to calm him on my part, it was time for drastic measures. I put him down and stripped him down to see if anything was hurting him. After a very thorough inspection he no sign of scratches, sores, or irritations other than some diaper rash. So, I gave him a massage and rubbed oil all over him to calm him down. It worked a little, he wasn't gasping for air anymore.
In a last effort of desperation, I wrapped him in a swaddling cloth and sat with him and tried to feed him. It took quite a while to get him to eat because he wouldn't stop crying to nurse. Finally he was nursing and he ate for a long time and then dozed off. I was relieved and held him in my arms for over two hours while he napped.
I don't know why he was so upset, it could be that he felt abandoned by me and then he was also hungry and he just couldn't stop cry once he started. But, I do think that holding his naked little body next to my skin is what really calmed him down and the eating helped too.
He's on his play mat again enthralled with the blinking musical star and stuff toys suspended over his head and I'm just thrilled that he's content again.
A few days ago I tried to put Finnegan into his swing, but he screamed the whole time and he only lasted in it for about five minutes.
Well, after all the advances in his development I thought that he might be ready for the swing today. I had to try it because he had been fussy and crying for about two hours and then I resorted to the swing and it worked!
He's been in there asleep for 38 minutes and I hope it lasts a little bit longer. I need to clean the living room, bathroom and finish the kitchen. Then I'd like to take a shower because it's almost 1:30 in the afternoon! I don't mind that much since I don't have any pressing engagements to go to. I'm at his service and it's just what I want to be doing, except maybe with a shower.
Uh, oh. He's awake, but not crying and he's looking around. Now the hands are going up and he's ..... starting to cry.
Well, it was nice while it lasted.
This is a little movie of Finn cooing and gurgling. It's pretty small so it's easy to download. It's in Quicktime format (click to download player if you don't have it).
You might notice there are subtitles. I made this movie for a class I'm teaching on Perl for the University of Washington Extension...Finn is sort of a guest lecturer. So that's why he's subtitled as if he's lecturing about Perl programming.
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