Being a parent is being apparent

When I was growing up my parents were apart more than they were together and I have been thinking of the those time a lot because now I have a child and I wonder how I am doing.

Being a parent is so more important to me than I thought it would be. It's a lot of work because Doug and I have to give Finnegan everything. Food, clothing, shelter and intellectual stimulation 24 hours a day. Sometimes it can be difficult when we are sick or really tired, but the joy of watching Finnegan discover his world more than makes up for the little inconveniences that we may endure along the way.

I have been watching Finnegan develop his motor and cognitive skills very closely for the past two weeks because I was afraid that he was a little slow at grasping things. But after a few days of passing a plastic ring to him, he grasped the concept and has moved on to examining each item he holds in his hands. He also puts everything in his mouth and the drool factor has resulted in an increase of clothing changes, all in the name of progress.

More than the mere practice of grabbing items, I think that my presence and vocal encouragement and reaffirming pats on the back have had more impact on his learning than just the repetition of the acts themselves. My friendly presence is a safety net for him assuring his safety and caregiving.

Every day I see examples of children who are confident because their parents provide them with a safe learning environment to grow and discover their world without the fear of failure and those children are happier and more adventurous than others. Of course, I have not conducted any scientific observations with control groups and experimental groups, but it is easy to see the difference when the children are interacting with their parents.

When I see mothers in the park pushing a child on a swing I notice two things. The mother who is pushing the child from the front is talking and making faces to the child in the swing. The mother who is pushing the child from behind is talking as well, but not as actively as the other. Now I notice this because I am a very social person and I believe that positive reinforcement is the best thing we can give our children and anyone else for that matter.

So, back to being a parent. Well, I hope that the best thing I can do for Finnegan as a parent is to be apparent--always in view. Hopefully, we will continue to provide him with a positive and safe environment for him to continue his quest for knowledge of his surroundings.