Finnegan update: week 1

It's been a week since Finnegan made his debut and it's been quite an adventure. In the past seven days I've learned so much that my maternal experience has debunked many baby myths and introduced many realities.

1) Babies are fragile, but they trust you to do the right thing.

2) Breast feeding is not as difficult as many people will have you to believe. If you just give in to your natural instincts you and the baby will figure it out.

3) Labor & delivery is hard, but it only lasts for a short time. In my case, 25 hours was pretty long, but in the context of everything it was a short time.

Whether you want a natural childbirth vs a medicated childbirth only mother nature can determine the outcome and you shouldn't feel guilty if your birth doesn't go as you had planned. I ended up having a cesarean for the health of the baby and that was all that mattered. I don't think he's disappointed about it.

4) Careful preparation will ease the transition when you return home, take time to properly prepare for the first critical days following your discharge from the hospital.
a) Buy plenty of food to reduce the need to leave the house. Have some meals prepared and stored in the refrigerator.
b) Get some help lined up before the birth. We didn't have anyone set up to help us out except for a pet sitter, which alleviated our worries for Grenade and Spoon. Since we didn't really know when Finnegan would be born because everyone told us that the first baby is always late. Finnegan was right on time. We also didn't want any family members with us in the delivery room because we wanted to keep the experience to ourselves and make Finnegan's arrival a gentle experience for him. We would have had a better transition if I had not had the cesarean.
c) Have your suitcase packed and in the car at least two weeks before the due date. I am very glad that we had our bag in the car because I had to go to the hospital for a routine test and they ended up admitting me a few hours later because I was having some really long three minute contractions that were causing the baby's heartbeat to decelerate. Luckily I was able to park the car, get my bag and check into my room.

Suitcase must haves:
* still camera
* video camera
* going home clothes: I wore maternity pajamas and a sweater
*toiletries kit, keep it simple and add a bit of makeup and a hairbrush
* big non-slip socks to keep your feet warm
* baby book to record baby's story and have available for the nurse to put the footprints and handprints in the book
* special hat or headband to pull hair away from face
* laptop to watch movies and to record your story and special milestones
*list of phone numbers to contact family members. I didn't do a very good job of this because I forgot to tell Doug to call my father who didn't find out until a week after the birth. I felt bad, but I was recovering from a cesarean and didn't have a clue.

Things not to bring:
* robe is too bulky and you won't want to ruin it
* books, you won't have time to read
* personal soap or body wash, the hospital has all this stuff
* don't really need a toothbrush and toothpaste, the hospital has that too

d) Helpers: Hire a doula to help you during your labor. She will help you ease into the delivery and help you focus on the task at hand. My doula helped me immensely by giving me massage as my back pain set in. If you want to record the details of your birth, hire a photographer or have a trusted person take photos for you. We had a photographer and she did a great job. Eventhough we had a cesarean which Doug photographed, Rachele, captured the moments when we came back to our room with the baby and spent the first hour with us. Hire some one to clean your house either before you leave for the hospital or while you are are away. I was not able to do any good cleaning before the baby was born and coming home to a clean bathroom was the greatest thing.

5) Be kind to your spouse. I wanted to make sure that Doug knew how much I appreciated his help and that I love him very much. So, I made sure that even in the worst moments of pain I did not get mad at him or utter any unkind remarks and every time he did something for me I said, Thank you and Please. Doug was just as nice to me and cared for me so gently and attentively that I admire him more than I ever did.